When you first met, you could hardly wait to see each other. Every look, every touch was electric. Sex was amazing. And romance was everywhere from candlelit dinners to long, slow, deliberate kisses.
Sooner or later, you may find yourself asking what happened? Where did all that wonderful stuff go? If romance and sex have taken a back seat to your work schedule, children or commitments, don't despair. You can re-ignite your passions.
Through forums I host for Briefcase Moms™, executive, entrepreneur and work-at-home moms from across the country shared their views on romance and sex — and how to get the best of both worlds. Here are their top five suggestions on how to get back on track in the love department.
1. Know what you want.
Ask yourself these questions. What is romance to me? Do I want more romance in my life? What is the perfect romantic gesture? What does an ideal romantic date look like? What does great sex mean to me? How often do I want to make love each week? Do I want to try new things? Define your desires and move on to the next step.
2. Communicate.
Speak your truth...tactfully. A common deterrent to sex and romance is lack of communication. If you don't know what your lover wants/likes and vice versa you both could be heading into trouble. You might need an update if you haven't checked in with your mate lately. Don't keep your romantic desires and sexual needs a secret. If your partner doesn't know what you're interested in, you can't expect to get it.
3. Create "sex space."
I know it doesn't sound very romantic or spontaneous, but schedule time for romance and sex. If you're like most North American women today, you are very busy. If you don't "pencil in" some sex time you might find it just doesn't happen. Also, when a date night is in your calendar you look forward to it and that can become a turn-on.
Save space in your day for sexy and romantic thoughts. Studies have shown that women who read romance novels make love more often — see what happens when you take some time just to "think" about sex. Designate a special something as your romantic kick-starter. This could be a favourite walk, song or place. Know that experiencing this will get you in the mood. Finally, ensure the place where you make love most often (for North Americans it's the bedroom) sets the stage for uninterrupted pleasure.
4. Indulge in time alone.
Before there is "us" time there needs to be "me" time. Taking an interest in caring for yourself is an essential building block to a healthy sex life. Make your health and welfare a priority. It means getting enough sleep, exercise and reflection time.
5. Practise. Practise. Practise.
Women tell me the more they make love, the more they want to make love. Need I say more?
by Lisa Martin (canadianliving.com)